Like a kid in a Sweet-Shop.

It’s not that my flights over the 60-odd months prior to my latest career change earlier this year had been infrequent; quite the opposite.  I’d certainly seen the insides of more aircraft than the above-average John in that period and am probably more familiar with the various nooks and crannies at Berlin’s Tegel airport than many guys are with those in their own kitchens.  But according to the various airlines around the world, I was a mere pleb; the ‘Air Miles’ I’d accrued, albethey substantial, were spread across several alliances so I’d never managed to poke my head above the first upgrade level.

Apart from with Air Berlin, that is.   I started using them wherever I could on my travels, mainly because they had a very convenient and cost effective Berlin Tegel – Düsseldorf route, but also because I was developing a minor hankering for the computer animated female cabin attendant who gave the security briefing on the drop-down TV screens prior to take off (it was the coquettish half-chuckle in her voice as she told me she hoped I enjoyed my flight).  As a result, I managed to attain Silver card status.  At the time, Air Berlin was still regarded as a low-cost airline, but because of its popularity and generally good service levels, it was later accepted into the British Airways-led One World alliance.  However, it was clear that Air Berlin was the ‘poor relation’ at this family gathering and it was soon announced that their ‘TopBonus’ Frequent Flyer programme, whilst being assumed into the One World alliance’s, would suffer the same kind of devaluation enjoyed by the Polish Zloty in the mid-nineties. One couldn’t even get into the One World airport lounges with a Silver TopBonus card, despite Air Berlin having built a number of very basic facilities of their own at their hubs around Germany.  The amount of noses I was looked down at as I tried to worm my way into the midst of these toffs defies belief.  Bloody snobs!

But a couple of weeks ago, my Miles and More Silver card arrived in the post.  This is the result of travelling almost exclusively with Lufthansa and their Star Alliance partners in my new role.  The need to visit numerous customers in pan-European locations (often back-toback), coupled with several trips from my European base to my company’s HQ in California, zipped me up the M&M ladder and halfway towards their Gold status lickety-split.

And so it came to pass that last Friday saw me clambering onto the top deck of one of Lufthansa’s A380 Superjumbos, thanks in no small part to the M&M points I’d accrued on the 35 flights I’d taken since the end of April. 

I assume that regular travelers in Business Class can spot us noobs a mile off.  They (we) must be the ones with the massive goofy grins on our faces as we turn left on entering the aircraft, climb the stairs on a 747 or walk the upper jetway to board an A380.  We probably fiddle incessantly with the seat reclining mechanism and end up perpendicular to the rest of the boarding passengers as they stow their carry-ons.  The novice Business Class passenger will almost certainly chug his or her (but most likely ‘his’; ladies do have a certain amount more finesse in these and all other areas, generally speaking) complimentary glass of champagne prior to take-off and be craning off his flat-bed to get the attention of the cabin crew so that they can refill his flute before it’s time to bring the seatbacks up, stow the tables and fasten the seatbelts.

I’ve flown Business Class long-haul a few times now and I still enjoy and appreciate the difference to cattle-class as much as I did the first time.  So much so, that I usually don’t sleep in order to miss as little of the experience as possible.  Sad, isn’t it?

Actually, to be perfectly honest, I still really enjoy the travelling as much as I did nearly 20 years ago when I took my first train to Warsaw for a National English Teachers’ Congress.  I was always interested in planes as a kid and I still find them incredibly beautiful objects today.  A lot of the guys I know who travel see the perks of the job as being the food, the exotic locations and so on.  Some I could name (but won’t, don’t worry) enjoy having the chance to give the good news to as many of the local female population as possible.  And don’t get me wrong, I appreciate where they’re coming from (apart from that last lot, obviously, darling… :-/ )

But for me, one of the biggest perks is the travelling itself.  After all, how many people get to go to work on a 300M dollar piece of engineering genius?